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Laugh of the Day
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chris24  



Joined: 17 Jan 2005
Posts: 334
Location: boston/nottingham UK

PostPosted: Fri Mar 17, 2006 6:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


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1983 - 924 (185K miles) - not mint
1985 - 924 (148K miles) - mint
1990 - 944S2 cab (52K miles)
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numbbers  



Joined: 05 Nov 2002
Posts: 1910
Location: Highlands Ranch, Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Subject: The message


After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive,"
in
the newspapers, Osama himself decided to send George Bush a letter in
his
own handwriting, to let him know he was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a single line of
coded message:

370HSSV-0773H

Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Condi Rice. Condi and her aides
had
no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. No one could solve it at
the
FBI so it went to the CIA, then to NSA.With no clue as to its meaning
they eventually asked Britain's MI-6 for help.
Within a minute MI-6 cabled the White House with this reply: "Tell
the President he's holding the message upside down".
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1980 924 Turbo
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numbbers  



Joined: 05 Nov 2002
Posts: 1910
Location: Highlands Ranch, Colorado

PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A large corporation recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part
of our team now", said the HR rep during the welcoming briefing.

"You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees".

The cannibals promised they would not.

Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard and
I'm satisfied with your work. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals all shook their heads "No". After the boss had left, the
leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate
the secretary?" A hand rose hesitantly.

"You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating
managers and no one noticed any-thing. But NOOOooo, you had to go
and eat someone who actually does something!!!"
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1980 924 Turbo
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Tigger937  



Joined: 11 Apr 2004
Posts: 906

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://www.geocities.com/tigger0937/Aaaachus.wmv
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1981 931 (Concours)
1982 931 (Daily Driver)

"Think outside the box"
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Neil924  



Joined: 18 Mar 2003
Posts: 4225
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tigger937 wrote:
http://www.geocities.com/tigger0937/Aaaachus.wmv


Tigger, you should start a thread and give us all of the pictures of your car. Thanks!
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Porsche924boy  



Joined: 25 Mar 2005
Posts: 252
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 9:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

these are some funny videos. Watch Fast and Furious and Spinners. Under video at www.MikeMerryfield.com
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What i own:
1995 Ford F150 Eddie Bauer 4X4
1995 F250 PowerStroke Diesel

Auto Technician Diploma
Diesel Technician Diploma
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Paul  



Joined: 02 Nov 2002
Posts: 9451
Location: Southeast Wisconsin

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When Ralph first noticed that his penis was growing larger and staying erect longer, he was delighted, as was his wife.

But after several weeks, his penis had grown to nearly twenty inches.
Ralph became quite concerned.

He was having problems dressing, and even walking.

So he and his wife went to see a prominent urologist. After an initial examination, the doctor explained to the couple that, though rare, Ralph's condition could be fixed through corrective surgery.

"How long will Ralph be on crutches?" the wife asked anxiously.
"Crutches? Why would he need crutches?" responded the surprised doctor.
"Well," said the wife coldly, "you're gonna lengthen his legs, aren't you?"
_________________
White 87 924S "Ghost"
Silver 98 986 3.6l 320 HP "Frank N Stein"
White 01 986 "Christine"
Polar Silver 02 996TT. "Turbo"
Owned and repaired 924s since 1977
Porsche: It's not driving, it's therapy.
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Ozzie  



Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Posts: 4447
Location: Townsville, Qld. Australia

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 12:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless,
and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added
late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00,
now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:

a.. Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
b.. Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."
c.. Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
d.. Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
e.. Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
f.. Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her
to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
g.. Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
h.. Bank: "Excuse me?"
i.. Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part
about her being dead?"
j.. Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone
a.. Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
b.. Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."
c.. Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
d.. Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
e.. Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
f.. Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
g.. Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:
a.. Bank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more
I can do to help."
b.. Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could
just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
c.. Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
d.. Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
e.. Bank: "That might help."
f.. Family Member: "OdessaMemorialCemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
g.. Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
h.. Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
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Porsche 924 1984 (UK import) NA
Its AUTO and its BLACK
Montego Black on black/red
Engineer of Electro/Mechanical Systems Maintenance
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timstar92404  



Joined: 22 Sep 2004
Posts: 2075
Location: richmond BC

PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 12:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

not a joke still funny.......


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78 924 sold.
85.5 944
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Ozzie  



Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Posts: 4447
Location: Townsville, Qld. Australia

PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

On Wednesday , at two minutes and three seconds after 1o'clock
the time and date will be 01:02:03 04/05/06.

That won't ever happen again.

You may now return to your (normal ?) life.

(In OZ we do the date dd/mm/yy so we get the same thing on the 4th May.)
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Porsche 924 1984 (UK import) NA
Its AUTO and its BLACK
Montego Black on black/red
Engineer of Electro/Mechanical Systems Maintenance
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Peter_in_AU  



Joined: 29 Jul 2001
Posts: 2742
Location: Sydney, Australia

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

have we all seen the Carlton Draught Bloody Big Ad?

http://www.bigad.com.au/ (tastes better with lots of sound)
_________________
1979 924 (Gone to a better place)
1974 Lotus 7 S4 "Big Valve" Twin-cam (waiting)
1982 924 (As featured on Wikipedia)

Learn to love your multimeter and may the search be with you
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tj924  



Joined: 15 Jul 2004
Posts: 957
Location: Toowoomba, Queensland, Australia

PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

IT Language for the Aussie Bloke:


LOGON:              Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter.

LOGOFF:           Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.

MONITOR:           Keeping an eye on the Barbie.

DOWNLOAD:      Getting the firewood off the  Ute.

HARD DRIVE:     Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.

KEYBOARD:         Where you hang the Ute keys.

WINDOW:           What you shut when the weather's cold.

SCREEN:              What you shut in the mozzie season.

BYTE:                  What mozzies do.

MEGABYTE:           What Townsville mozzies do.

CHIP:                   A bar snack.

MICROCHIP:         What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.

MODEM:               What you did to the lawns.

LAPTOP:               Where the cat sleeps.

SOFTWARE:           Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.

HARDWARE:          Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.

MOUSE:                The small rodent that eat's the grain in the shed.

MAINFRAME:          What hold's the shed up.

WEB:                    What spiders make.

WEBSITE:             Usually in the shed or under the verandah.

SEARCH ENGINE:   What you do when the Ute won't  go.

CURSOR:               What you say when the Ute won't  go.

YAHOO:                 What  you say when the Ute does go.

UPGRADE:             A steep hill.

SERVER:                The person at the pub who brings out  the counter lunch.

MAIL SERVER:        The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.

USER:                   The neighbour who keep's borrowing things.

NETWORK:             What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.

INTERNET:             Where you want the  fish to go.

NETSCAPE:            What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.

ONLINE:                 Where you hang the washing.

OFFLINE:                Where the washing end's up when the pegs aren't strong enough.
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TJ
Silver '82 924 NA 5-Speed Manual
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Ozzie  



Joined: 12 Mar 2005
Posts: 4447
Location: Townsville, Qld. Australia

PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would like to tell you a story of a "Fountain".

This fountain to be constructed in Ireland.

The local Irish County Manager was advised by the Council that they desired a new fountain to be built in the Village Common. The Manager advertised in due course and received three replies.

He summon the respondents to his office and one at a time, called each into his office with the question, "How much to build the Fountain".

Paddy being the first replied, "Three thousand Pounds".

The Manager responded "Break that down for me". Paddy was happy and said "One thousand for me, one thousand for the materials and one thousand for the men".

The Manager said, "Fine wait out side and send in the next".

Davey entered and the Manager asked, "How much to build the fountain"?

Davey replied, "Six Thousand Pounds"

The Manager asked Davey to break that down for him.

Davey replied "Two thousand for me, two thousand for materials and two thousand for the men".

The manager said that was fine and to wait outside, also to send in the final applicant.

Ned entered and the Manager asked him "How much to build the Fountain?"

Ned did not bat and eye lid and replied "Nine Thousand Pounds".

The Manager said "Break that down for me?"

Ned said "Three thousand for you, three thousand for me and we give the job to Paddy".
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Porsche 924 1984 (UK import) NA
Its AUTO and its BLACK
Montego Black on black/red
Engineer of Electro/Mechanical Systems Maintenance
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Paul  



Joined: 02 Nov 2002
Posts: 9451
Location: Southeast Wisconsin

PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For all of you that laugh at our president:

http://www.wimp.com/bushcomedy/
_________________
White 87 924S "Ghost"
Silver 98 986 3.6l 320 HP "Frank N Stein"
White 01 986 "Christine"
Polar Silver 02 996TT. "Turbo"
Owned and repaired 924s since 1977
Porsche: It's not driving, it's therapy.
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jpab924  



Joined: 03 Nov 2002
Posts: 1538
Location: Crown pt. IN. 50 miles southeast of Chicago Ill.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What did the one saggy boob say to the other boob?

"We better get some support soon, or people are going to think we are nuts!"
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